Preheat the oven to 350°F.
In a medium saucepan, bring the milk and salt to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and whisk in the grits. Cook, stirring regularly, for 1 hour (for quick-cooking grits, cook for 15-25 minutes). Stir in the salt, pepper and cheese until melted and creamy.
In a medium saucepan, heat the Bourbon to a simmer and reduce by half. Add the maple syrup, soy sauce, Aleppo pepper and honey and return to a simmer. Cook until reduced and syrupy.
Place the salmon on a baking sheet, pat dry with paper towels and brush with the Bourbon glaze. Roast for 12-15 minutes, until cooked through. Brush with remaining glaze when you remove it from the oven.
On a baking sheet, toss the asparagus with the oil, salt and pepper. Roast for 10-15 minutes, until crisp-tender. Remove from the oven and toss with the lemon juice.
Meanwhile, place 1/4 of the softened butter in a small saucepan. Heat over low heat until it begins to melt. Whisk in the salt, paprika, cayenne and honey. Add the remaining diced butter and stir to combine. When fully incorporated, remove the butter from the heat and place in a piping bag or large Ziploc bag with one corner snipped off.
Divide the grits between plates. Top with roasted asparagus, glazed salmon and swirl of spicy honey butter.